Masturbation and Chocolate Cake

I love God. He was so good to give us the gift of masturbation. It allows us to explore our sexuality in a safe way when we are not ready, willing and/or able to share it with others.

Masturbation gets a bad wrap because it is so often associated with pornography. I plan to write several entries on pornography but for right now lets imagine masturbation with out pornography. Just you alone in your bed. Or in the shower. Or in the car. Or wherever.

Masturbation (without pornography) is just like chocolate cake. It's wonderfully delicious. God didn't have to make chocolate cake taste good. The pleasure we get from eating is an added bonus to getting the nutrition we need to make our bodies run. In the same way, sexual pleasure is an added bonus to the act of procreation. I believe sexual pleasure has many more levels to it, but more on that later.

I was in a preschool classroom the other day where the teacher asked her students "Should we eat chocolate cake every day?" and the group of three-year-old's chimed in "No, just sometimes". Can you imagine a world where teachers asked their students "Should we touch our genitals all the time?" and the kids answered "No, just sometimes."

Like chocolate cake, masturbation should be experienced in moderation. We go through different sexual seasons in our life. Sometimes we masturbate every day. Sometimes every week or a few times a month. Sometimes we do it many times a day or once in six months. The point is not how often, but what our intent is in masturbation.

Am I doing it to experience pleasure? Or am I doing it to soothe myself? Am I doing it to cover something up which I don't want to think about? Or am I periodically exploring what turns me on? How do I know the difference?

Find one or two or five people you trust and can be open with. Start sharing with each other about masturbation. If you're young, you may masturbate often because of the fluctuation of hormones. Talk with someone about it. When we discuss things in the open, there is less opportunity for unhealthy things to grow in the dark.

Masturbation that covers something up or soothes a hurt or tries to solve a bigger problem is not healthy. If you find yourself using masturbation in an unhealthy way, talk with someone about it. It may be just a phase or you may need help figuring out the part of your story that you're trying to solve through masturbation.

Love,

Aunt Sissy